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A recent post on MariaShriver.com looked at the pain of divorce through one woman’s eyes. I’m pretty sure that any of you who’ve been there (or are currently going through it) can relate. In her words:

 

“I spent the first three months after filing for divorce crying. I had no idea that much water existed in my body. I often woke up out of a dead sleep with racking sobs; I cried in the shower; I cried in my car at lunch, and every night, sat on my patio, crying and smoking incessantly. (Something I had taken up, after a decades long hiatus, the day I told my husband of 26 years it was over between us.) Apparently my weeping was so disturbing, my next door neighbor, who I had only a nodding acquaintance, sent flowers with a condolence card. I guess they thought someone had died. Frankly, it was as though everything had died. I was stuck in a tidal wave of sadness and pain, in spite of knowing I had made the right decision.”

There are many ways that divorce can knock you down and make you feel as if you’ll never be able to get back up. Some of those include:

  • Damaging your ability to trust
  • Ruining the confidence you show in your thoughts and actions
  • Questioning your abilities as a parent
  • Casting doubt on your spirituality
  • Turning you in to some type of monster bent on revenge
  • Creating intimacy issues between you and the rest of the world
  • Amping up body issues and destructive behaviors (drinking, overeating, etc.)
  • While it’s easy for one or all of these things to overtake your life when you’re in such a state of vulnerability, the good news is that there is a way out. It starts with focusing on yourself and creating new goals in your personal, private, and professional lives. The more you focus on accomplishing things, the less time you’ll have for the rest.

What has helped you get through your lowest points in a divorce?


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