Adjusting to divorce is a process that can last for years depending on how determined you are to move past it. What you can’t afford to do is avoid certain emotions just because they may seem uncomfortable. That’s why we’ve put together a quick list of the emotions you will definitely feel when it’s over. For each of these experiences, don’t try to fight, but do try to find healthy ways of “feeling” them.
Anger
This is the most common emotion you’ll feel at some point in the divorce process. For people filing against their spouse, that anger may go away the moment they have final release. For defendants, the anger may start around the same time and stick around for a lot longer. While anger can be destructive, you shouldn’t hide from it. Instead channel it into healthier activities like exercise, goal setting, etc.
Relief
Another emotion that will come at some point in the divorce process for both parties. Either you’re the person filing, and you’re relieved that you’re finally free of your marriage or you’re healing from rejection and you’re relieved when you’re finally able to start enjoying life again. It will happen, and when it does, embrace it. But don’t get too used to it either because of the next emotion:
Relapse
Relapse deserves to be considered as an “emotion” in this case because it almost always rears its ugly head again as you work to overcome the divorce. Just when you think everything is going to be all right, something will happen to remind you of the divorce and the pain that it caused. Initially the feelings will be intense and painful, but in time, you’ll grow to accept these occasional dips in the road until one day they’re no longer a factor at all.
Renewal
The last emotion necessary in your adjustment to divorce is renewal. This is like relief, but only more geared to the long term. It’s where you stop living life based on the past and start setting all your attention on the present and future. At this point, you still realize you were once divorced, but it’s no longer the landmark of your life — i.e. the one event you relate everything back to. This is a great place to be, but it’s something that doesn’t happen overnight.
When you were adjusting to your divorce — or perhaps you still are — what were some of the emotions that you felt the most deeply?
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