Often times men and women spend so much time planning their wedding day that they forget to prep for the next 50 years that come after it. Planning the marriage through careful and meaningful conversation is a much better expenditure of time than how many you’ll have in the wedding party. If you’re uncertain of where to start, we have a few tips for how to avoid the divorce forms.
Ask: House Or Apartment?
Some people are more comfortable letting a landlord take care of all the fix-it stuff. Others (most others) want a place they can call their own. When the two mindsets meet in a marriage, it can lead to trouble if they haven’t worked it out beforehand.
Ask: Holiday Plans?
Perhaps no element can create more stress on a couple than family, and these disputes typically raise themselves in greater intensity around the Holidays. Rather than peace and togetherness, some families — many, in fact — seem to be keeping a stopwatch on which set of in-laws gets the most time. Don’t let family members commandeer a time that is supposed to be joyous. Talk to your spouse about a suitable arrangement where you can be together on Christmas and Thanksgiving without disrespecting one side of the family. Communicate those expectations to each other and to your family so they don’t assume they’ve got a say in the matter. Avoid the conversation or break up the act for a day or two during a time of togetherness, and you could have divorce papers in your future.
Ask: How Many Children?
Legacies are important to a lot of people. Having a child that’s all your own is a time of pride and honor. If you don’t want these little bundles of joy, then you’d better make that known before the marriage occurs. Too often, couples blow this difficult conversation off and don’t truly confront it until it’s staring them in the face. And even if both of you want kids, don’t stop the conversation with that. Talk about how many, where you want to raise them, how you will care for them (stay-at-home parent or daycare?), how you plan to pay for them, and what beliefs you will instill in them. All vital conversations!
In Summary
These are all things that divorced people know all too well. If you want to avoid it, then heed the advice.
If we can help you in any way with your uncontested divorce, let us know, and we’ll get you started today!
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