Okay, we’ll admit. The title sounds a little scary, and it can be if you let this fantasy take too strong of a hold of your life. But it’s not our intent to scare the pants off you, or to encourage you to do something stupid. We will say this: having death dreams about your spouse is pretty common once the divorce papers are final.
That’s because you’re still wrestling with a lot of emotion and pent-up aggression. Maybe you felt slighted by the settlement. Maybe your spouse had an affair, and it still smarts. But what about six months to a year down the road? What if you’re still having them then?
To fully embrace the answer to that question, you need to know what the recurring dream/daydream says about you.
We’ve put together this quick list to give you an idea:
Hopefully, you see a pattern developing: you, you, you.
Yes, your spouse may have wronged you, and they may even deserve a life of hardship as a result of their actions. But if you care about even one other person in your life, then you owe it to them and to yourself to let go of the negativity, seek help, and get on with your life.
To do that, you’ll need to stop looking at your divorce forms as a sign of shame, and start looking at them as the beginning of a new life — one that is filled with excitement and possibilities. A life where you’re the one primarily in control.
Hate can follow you around and stifle any hope or new possibility that arises, even when you’ve both taken a relatively conflict-free uncontested divorce path. And here’s the thing: it wouldn’t go away, even if you decided to do something foolish.
So if you’re having those death dreams or any fantasy where something horrible happens to your ex, seek help. Don’t let them go for too long unattended. It’s not a sign of strength on your part, nor will it ever be. It’s a weakness that needs to be addressed. You can do so by either letting go of the emotions that are making you feel that way and forgiving your spouse — doesn’t mean you have to like them — or you can seek professional help from a qualified mental health professional. (And often, doing both isn’t a bad idea.)