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Divorce Missteps: Common Problems and How to Avoid Them

Divorce Missteps: Common Problems and How to Avoid ThemWhen a marriage ends — whether it’s via trial or uncontested divorce — emotions can take control and a number of bad decisions can be made.

(Just browse through a bitterly divorced friend’s Facebook page if you don’t believe us.)

However, finding common ground with each other throughout the process will ensure that many of the most common mistakes never happen.

But just what do we mean by mistakes? 

In a recent post on the Lerner-Poole Family Law Blog, the attorneys noted that one of the most common mistakes can be “to drive up the cost of the divorce proceedings.”

“This is not advisable for many reasons, because in California the court can order attorney’s fees be paid in cases of unreasonable conduct during the divorce.”

Still another bad misstep many couples make, according to Lerner-Poole, is overextending financially. “Child support, spousal support and other post-divorce financial concerns may cause a divorcing spouse, who is not realistic about a post-divorce budget, to overextend. Understanding legal obligations and pre-divorce planning and budgeting are likely helpful to avoid this mistake” when preparing the divorce forms.

Also, regarding child support, it’s best not to fall behind and to diligently seek a post-divorce modification as soon as a paying parent becomes aware that one might be needed, said Lerner-Poole.

“While California does tie, in some ways, the amount of child support to child custody, it is important not to use one or the other for leverage. In some cases, a child support agreement modification may be granted if a substantial change in circumstances of the child or parent, such as a job loss, has occurred.”

How do you keep things civil? 

Obviously, all of the above-mentioned “mistakes” can — whether as intended or not — can be taken personally. So to keep that from happening and to prevent escalation, we recommend honing your communication skills with each other. Sit down with a mediator if need be. Just do everything you can to solve differences and make each other aware of potential challenges before ever stepping foot in a courtroom. Doing so will ensure that your divorce papers go through with minimum cost and headache. Good luck!


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