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Facebook 'Will Hurt You' in Divorce

Facebook 'Will Hurt You' in DivorcePutting your life, in all its drama, on Facebook is a questionable practice during relatively normal periods, but it’s an especially bad idea when you use it as a source of emotional ventilation while the divorce papers are still in process. By now, it’s no big mystery that once something is posted, you can’t really take it back. It’s just too easy to take a screenshot of something negative and forever preserve it regardless of whether you have a change of heart and decide to delete it later.

In a recent post on the Dallas Divorce Law Blog, contributor Katie Lewis warns that “Facebook can and will hurt you in your divorce proceedings.”

Privacy: No Such Thing

As Lewis points out, “Far too many times I have seen clients’ postings, comments, and pictures on Facebook and other forms of social media be used against them in a divorce proceeding.” Lewis notes that even if a poster “blocks” their soon-to-be ex, “there are always ways around getting access to your account.”

“Many times family members and mutual friends will allow a ‘blocked’ spouse access to their spouse’s social media pages in order to gather evidence in divorce proceedings,” she added.

To prove this point, outside of her own experience, Lewis points to one case reported by the Huffington Post, where a father in Cincinnati “was almost put in jail for his Facebook posts relating to his wife” as they worked to finalize their divorce forms.

Even though his wife was “blocked,” she gained access through a mutual friend.

“The Husband had written on Facebook, ‘If you’re an evil vindictive woman and want to ruin your husband’s life and take your son’s father away from him, all you have to do is say that you’re scared,” Lewis shared.

The judge held the husband in contempt of court for the posting, calling it a violation of the injunction “to not harass his wife.”

He was left with two choices: apologize to the wife everyday on Facebook for 30 consecutive days or spend 60 in jail.

“The advice I give my clients is to assume that a judge is reading and viewing each comment, picture, and post you make on any form of social media,” Lewis said. “Before you make a post, ask yourself ‘Would this reflect poorly on me should the judge read it?’ If the answer is yes, do not share that thought, comment or picture with the social media world. If you are incapable of making that judgment call, I suggest you shut down all forms of social media accounts until your divorce is finalized.”

Excellent Advice

Our take is that Lewis offers excellent advice even in cases of uncontested divorce. Just because couples are not fighting over the details of their dissolution, that doesn’t mean they feel amicable towards one another.

In my personal experience of getting cheated on, I can tell you that my ex and I went the amicable route, but that did not mean I was without ill will towards her. Had I used social media posts to make my feelings known, however, the chances of getting her to play ball long enough to end things in an uncontested manner might have gotten me in trouble and drawn out the process, costing a lot more money than the few hundred dollars it ultimately ran me.

We’ve addressed it before, but we cannot emphasize enough how important it is to keep your personal life and Facebook separate, especially during a divorce.


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