With ex-spouses trying to maintain politeness in spite of their anger, divorce is a tricky situation to be in, especially if you have children. When you initially have children you become anxious about doing anything that might scar them for life; now that divorce has entered the picture, it may feel like your worst fears are becoming a reality.
But before you hyperventilate or drive yourself to madness, there are ways to make divorce less of a life-ruining event. It all depends on your approach.
Spilling the Beans
First thing’s first: Telling your child about the impending divorce. It’s of the utmost importance that both parents are present and willing to converse with the child about divorce. If one parent is absent from the conversation, the child will be confused, conflicted, and unsure of the future. When children are anxious about their very survival, they cannot flourish emotionally or mentally.
In the talk, it’s important to be honest with the child about the parents new, separate relationship, but avoid placing blame on either parent and going into detail about the more adult nature of the split. And always, always, ALWAYS repeat over and over again that the child is not the cause of the divorce.
The Saddest Story
In a Huffington Post article about this topic, a clinical psychologist conveys a divorce story, which provides the perfect example of how detrimental it is to not talk with the child about the divorce. One of his clients, a seven year-old girl who needed behavioral help, told him one session that she knew why her parents divorced.
The little girl told a story of how one night she, like any annoyed big sister, pushed her little brother. Her brother spilled his milk as he fell, and upon finding out her parents began to argue. The mother yelled at the father to contribute around the house, and the father blamed the mother for poor parenting. Months later, the parents announced they were divorcing, without further explanation.
Fill in All the Blanks
The psychologist explains how the little girl connected her misbehavior as the cause of her parents divorce because she was not given an alternative cause. Do not let your child connect the dots or fill in the blanks. If you’re at a loss for words or a way to explain, most psychologists agree these are the main points to get across:
We’ve covered how to begin the divorce talk, but there is so much more to consider and convey. The divorce itself is process with many pitfalls, but the divorce talk with a child is never truly over. Even after the divorce is finalized, the ex-spouses are still parents who must answer and guide their children.
Comments are closed.
We where married in Canada she is there and i live in Florida now . We had a legal separation everything is splited and no kids involved can i still get a divorce?
My wife and i are considering a divorce but there are assets that she has no interest in even knowing that she has right to those assets.
He is in prison how do I go about getting a divorce now since I can’t serve him the papers
I was wondering if this online is legit? like is it taking your money and run. that’s im afraid of. I need a change for me.
If spouse asks for maintenance and not legally qualified is an attorney needed? How much to file, if not required?
We’ve been married 6 years . The marriage has never been consumated. There is no children and property. She moved without me knowing it sometime in the beginning of December 2014. I have no idea where she is. I just want to get ride of her.
I need forms for same sex marriage???
Johnnie and I don’t have any children do that matter .
What if I don’t know where he is? How do I get my divorce, I don’t know if he is alive nor dead.
Am to her but she left me 1 year ago.we dont have no kids at all together.i just want to be free.so i can live my life.
How long does it take for divorce to be finalized?
When a woman kicks you out moves her boyfriend in boot less than a week later. You have split time with your children with her and then she moves to a different state . You love your children a lot still see them when you can but can’t drive because your disability does not let you drive our own a car you was seeing them a month a year now it’s going to be two weeks a year you pay child support but every move you make she still trys to rule over you like when y’all are together. What do you do
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