When you have just finalized the divorce papers, you will feel compelled to get your life back on track as soon as possible. That means focusing on yourself and reconsidering the ways that you eat or exercise or spend your free time. At first, you might feel a little uncomfortable being selfish, but then you realize that it’s the best thing for you in order to put the past behind you and focus on the future. But how do you know when it’s too much? How do you strike a balance between self-improvement and self-absorption?
Peggy Nolan, a Huffington Post expert, suggests the following.
“Take all the time you need to make peace within yourself. Forgiving yourself and having compassion will help ease the hurt. Learn something new or find a new hobby. Discover what and who you really are. And take lots of walks.”
It’s simple yet effective advice that absolves you from the time table. And that’s the way it should be. Finding yourself is something you’ll know in your heart before you will a stopwatch or calendar.
Look at the areas of your life where you feel listless or empty. What are some things you can add to or take away in order to reenergize? Is it a go-nowhere job that’s holding you back? Take a leap of faith and drop it. Have you felt too lonely and bored for too long? Join a meet-up group in your area that focuses on something you find interesting. Feeling out of shape and unhealthy? Go to the park and run, or head to the gym and hit the weights.
As you start to see positive changes in your life and the way you feel, you can start thinking about living for someone else. But in order to give of yourself and be a less selfish person, you need to first see that there is something inside you worth giving.
How long did it take you to recover from divorce, at least to the point where you could hold down healthy friendships and relationships? Sound off in the comments section.