Afraid your marriage might be heading toward the divorce papers? Watch a movie!
According to a new study from the University of Rochester, divorce rates could be cut in half by a couple watching a movie and then discussing character relationships afterward.
Quoting lead author and associate professor Ronald Rogge, Medical Daily reported that “it could be as simple as watching a movie, or five.” Rogge argued that most couples already possess the tools to save their relationship “but often fail to decelerate arguments to a pace appropriate for listening.”
Watching movies, then discussing them, “facilitated an open conversation where on-screen conflict resolution could provide an outlet for real-life emotion.”
A ‘Surprise’
Rogge admitted that the outcome surprised himself and his team and confessed that he and his colleagues “didn’t originally set out to examine movies directly.”
In comments to Medical Daily, Rogge said the original study’s purpose was “to understand which of their three early marriage intervention programs would work best: conflict management, compassion and acceptance training, or relationship awareness through film.”
Researchers focused their efforts on couples in their first three years of marriage, the time period when approximately one quarter of marriages usually end.
Methodology
The first group participated in a conflict management activity in which one partner focused on slowing the pace of conversation and paraphrasing the other’s sentiments back to them, in the hopes of reaching a common understanding, MD noted. A second group practiced a technique Rogge and his researchers designed in which couples “engaged more in empathetic, compassionate language and approached conflicts from a friendlier, more affectionate position.”
The third and final group were shown the same film — Two For the Road, a 1967 romantic comedy. After finishing the film, each couple filled out a 12-question survey asking about how the characters in the movie worked through their issues.
“Did they bicker at one another or listen to what the other person was saying? Were they aggressive or understanding? Couples were asked how the on-screen relationship resembled their own,” MD stated.
After these steps, couples were tasked with watching one movie per week for roughly a month, and talking about the story’s components with one another for at least 30 minutes following. They were allowed to pick from 47 movies, including As Good As It Gets (1997), Gone With the Wind (1939), and Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (1967).
“We thought the movie treatment would help,” Rogge said in a news release, “but not nearly as much as the other programs in which we were teaching all of these state-of-the-art skills.”
The researchers stated that couples ended up performing equally well in all three exercises, and that, over a three-year period, the amount of divorce forms filed fell from 24 percent to just 11 percent in the movie-watching group. Rogge believes the results came not just from the movies themselves, but from the act of watching and talking.
“I think it’s the couples reinvesting in their relationship and taking a cold hard look at their own behavior that makes the difference,” he said. “For these couples to stop and look and say, ‘You know, I have yelled at you like that before. I have called you names before and that’s not nice. That’s not what I want to do to the person I love the most.’ Just that insight alone, is likely what makes this intervention work.”
In Summary
If you think your marriage may be heading toward the end — whether through conflict or an uncontested divorce — consider picking a movie and having a talk. You may just find value beyond entertainment.
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