Samantha Daniels, in a recent piece for Huffington Post, took a look at the 10 signs that it may be time to call it quits on your relationship. While the entire thing is worth a read, we would like to pull out one particular part for today’s post:
“This same pattern has happened in other relationships, yet you don’t know how to break it. Have you been in other relationships which go on and on forever and somehow they don’t work out and you remain not married? This can’t be a coincidence. You need to break this pattern now.”
This particular item on the list — No. 10 — highlights one of the biggest reasons people who’ve filed divorce papers once end up doing so again two, three, and four times. They don’t learn anything from their past relationships and instead continue to recreate the same failed marriage over and over again. So how do you recognize the fact that you’re picking the wrong people?
1. Your new partner has A LOT in common with your old one.
Obviously the specifics are up for you to decide, but the general principle rings true. If you can look at your current spouse/partner and do more comparing than contrasting, then there is a chance you have bad taste when it comes to people who are “relationship worthy.” It may not even be that they are bad people per se; they simply aren’t compatible yet you’re with them anyway.
2. You fight about the same things with your current partner that you fought about with your ex(es).
Many people who’ve filed divorce forms find themselves in new relationships with all the same old arguments. It’s almost as if you pulled a Bewitched and have a different actor playing the same character. (Sorry, Darren.) If you are aggravated that he or she doesn’t communicate enough, then you need to take a step back and realize you are picking people to date who are not up to your expectations for communication within the relationship.
As an uncontested divorce service, we see many marriages end on “good terms.” While that may very well be the case, your goal should be to break the cycle of unsuccessful relationships. To do that, take steps to realize the type of people you are attracted to and the unhealthy qualities that bring about the end of your relationship. By knowing the warning signs, you can change the game.
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