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What Would You Redo About Your Marriage

What Would You Redo About Your MarriageIn a piece for Huffington Post, contributor Karen Ann Kennedy examined the failures of her own marriage and took a hard look at this very common fantasy: “If I had it to do over again…”

One of the first things that might come to mind when the divorce papers are still fresh is that you wouldn’t do any of it over again, and that could very well be a valid point.

However, you can’t erase the past. You can only learn from it. Here are some of the do-overs Kennedy listed that really stood out to us:

  • I would listen more than I speak; a lot more!
  • I would talk to my husband instead of at him.
  • I would let go of all the little things, and in retrospect, they were all little things.
  • I would dance in the kitchen more instead of worrying about the dishes.
  • I would laugh more quickly and forgive more freely.

Each one of these is a valid do-over, but the one that stands out for me is this one: “I would stop looking for guidance and advice from people outside of my marriage and open up a healthy dialogue with my partner.” Not only do I agree with this, I subscribed to it when I found love again.

I hesitate to say that I wish my ex would have adhered to this as well — she may not have cheated on me, but then, we might still be together, and knowing my current wife, that would be a real tragedy. Still, as far as my second marriage is concerned, I’ve wholeheartedly employed this, and my wife is the kind of person who already “got it.”

Seeking outside help with your problems is bad because, most of the time, you’re doing it alone and you’re not going to a professional for it. Instead, you’re confiding in a colleague, co-worker, or friend — often one with whom you share physical chemistry, and that can be a precursor to the divorce forms.

If you don’t want to end up at our site seeking an uncontested divorce, and would instead like to find true love that lasts a lifetime, learn to start communicating better with your partner. No matter how challenging or tense it may seem, you’re more likely to find solutions in each other than someone else.


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