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Feeling burned out? Wishing you had a more successful marriage? Are you starting to feel like your partner is a roommate and friend rather than a husband or wife? It’s simple to let the romance fall by the way side in marriage. Children, busy schedules, cooking meals, and work can cause the passion and mystique to go by the wayside. Perhaps you aren’t feeling as sexy as you were 10 years ago when you first met after gaining a few pounds, or maybe you just feel too exhausted at night to be intimate with your partner.

Working at reigniting that spark in your relationship is crucial if you want to build a lifelong, happy marriage that continues to be interesting and spontaneous. Every now and then when you feel blasé towards your relationship, it’s time to shake things up a bit and reconnect with your partner.

Not sure where to start? Luckily, happy couples have some secrets to spicing it up. Here are some tips for a happy marriage and how to create long lasting happiness for the two of you and get back in the groove!

1. Sleep in the same bed.  It sounds obvious doesn’t it? You’d be surprised at how many couples stop sleeping together in the same bed, regardless of whether they are intimate or not. New parents often stop sleeping in the bed if one of them is up with the baby late at night trying to comfort them back to sleep downstairs without waking the other one up. Perhaps one of you snores and the other person started sleeping on the couch to be considerate, except they never moved back into the bed. Or perhaps you’ve been arguing nonstop and haven’t been sleeping together because of it. Whatever the situation, many couples fall into this pattern without realizing it.

Regardless of the reasons, make a commitment to sleep together in the same bed from now on. Make amends if you’re fighting, go to the doctor if you’re snoring, and use effective sleep training methods with your new baby so they are used to sleeping away from you.

2. Go on dates. No, don’t go on a date that includes the kids. Go out, just the two of you, and hire a babysitter! You deserve it. Go on walks outside, eat a romantic dinner at your favorite Italian restaurant, see a movie, or go dancing. Dating isn’t just for single people trying to find the “one”, it’s for married couples too. During this time you spend together, you’ll be forced to start talking to each other and getting to know one another again. Who knows, you may just fall madly in love!

3. Dress up. It’s easy to wear sweatpants and no makeup, or jeans and a t-shirt when you are comfortable with one another. But if you do this everyday, it makes the other person become accustomed to it. When you look good, you feel good, and others notice. Buy a new outfit, be it lingerie, a dress, or a suit and tie. Surprise your partner one day and watch their reaction. It will put the sexuality back in the relationship, even if you are 20 pounds heavier than you were 10 years ago!

4. Reminisce and reconnect. Make a list of why you decided to marry your partner. List their positive attributes from back then and add to it now. Try to avoid writing down negative things. Let it go. Look at old wedding pictures or pictures of the two of you spending time together when you were younger.  Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Then start learning more about your partner now. Talk to them and actually listen to what they have to say. Find something you are both passionate about now, whether it be politics, sports, music, or watching old movies. Start reconnecting through these channels instead of just focusing on the mundane parts of your day.

5. If all else fails, try counseling. If you have taken these initial steps to try and improve your marriage and you still feel stuck, there are other options. Speaking to a professional who is impartial and qualified in specific marriage problems can be a wonderful tool for you and your partner. He or she can work with both of you on a specific set of goals and provide support in order for both of you to achieve them.

Marriage can be tough, but it can also be a lot of fun. It’s time to reignite the relationship and learn how to fall in love again. Unfortunately, it’s something you must work at everyday, and the best of us often fall short. Thankfully, it’s never too late to bring the spark back in your marriage. Be creative and find ways to work everyday in order to create long lasting happiness.


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