Divorce is more difficult for some people than it is others. Signing those divorce papers can be either the most liberating experience of your life or one of the most soul-crushing. For those of you on the soul-crushing side, you may find it difficult to go on with life for a time afterward, but know one thing: it gets better.
Part of it comes with time, but the good news is you have a lot of say on how much time it takes. If you stick to the following tips, you’ll find it easier to rejuvenate your will not just to survive, but to live life as it was meant to be. Let’s get started!
Let go of the anger and bitterness as soon as possible.
When you feel crushed by your divorce, you tend to feel angry and bitter for a time. In a flawed moment of logic, it may even seem like that anger and bitterness is doing some good, but trust us: it isn’t. In fact, the longer you feel these things and allow them to govern your actions, the more you hurt yourself. Your ex will never be harmed by your emotions more than you will be. Remember that, and allow it to color your judgment moving forward, particularly if you’re feeling vengeful.
Respond, don’t react.
Huffington Post contributor Peggy Nolan explains this best in her piece, “Newly Divorced? 12 Things Your Fairy Godmother Wants You to Know”: “In medical terms, a reaction is a bad thing and a response is a good thing. No matter what your ex did that got your knickers in a bunch, you are in complete control of how and when you respond. And sometimes, no response is the best response.” In other words, reacting means someone or something else is controlling you. Responding means you are in control.
Focus on you.
On the surface, this bit of advice may seem too selfish, but the reality is that people you care about will need you to be selfish for a while. That’s because they want to see you emerge from the divorce a stronger, better person. So take time for yourself. Don’t be afraid to lean on family for childcare needs so you can have some Me Time. Work out. Pamper yourself. Do whatever you want to do as often as you can as long as it’s legal and within reason. By making yourself feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally, you’ll be a better parent, a better friend, and a better family member.
What are some things that helped you survive the post-divorce funk? Share your tips in our comments section.
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