Relationships and fighting seem to go hand-in-hand — something anyone who’s been through divorce forms knows a lot about. But for one Redditor, this shouldn’t be the case, and he decided to ask the community whether they fought with their partners and if not, how they were able to avoid it. While the question is pretty simple, the responses are what really make the thread noteworthy, and what can keep you from filing divorce papers. Let’s look at some of the best responses.
1. “The key is to not let disagreements become fights. Discuss things calmly, don’t raise your voices, be open to compromise, stick to the matter at hand, and don’t insult each other. My husband and I have had plenty of disagreements, but they don’t become fights. We never go to bed angry, and we always love each other.”
2. “Every relationship has disputes. There’s just a difference between disputes and fights, and even fights don’t have to be a big deal as long as you play by the rules. … Don’t ever try to insult your SO. Don’t ever use intimacy or affection as a weapon. Don’t keep score. And don’t go for the ‘win,’ go for the resolution.”
3. “You just find someone who is rational and level-headed. My girlfriend and I have discussions. We don’t have arguments. The only time things got even a little heated, was one morning where she was PMS-ing really hard, and she woke me up suddenly to complain about something.”
4. “I don’t fight with my girlfriend. We share our ideas like mature and rational people. When we disagree, we just accept that we disagree. If it’s something that matters, we compromise.”
5. “Love, Trust, Respect. … Got all three? shouldn’t have a problem. Missing even one of them, and it’s rough roads ahead.”
6. “My SO and I have disagreements all the time, but its really all abot how you handle them. If you’re willing to sit down and talk to them and communicate your feelings its less likely to escalate into something bigger. Also keeping things inside only makes it worse. Anytime something is bothering me I talk to my SO about it before it gets out of hand. But like others have said, a relationship means you’re a team so you both have to be committed to making it work.”
Compromise is mentioned frequently in the above examples. Not only is it a must-have for marriage, but it’s a must if you want an uncontested divorce. Both parties have to be on the same page, period.
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