Social media games like FarmVille and Words With Friends can be fun, but that’s not what we’re talking about when discussing “games” in relation to divorce papers.
No, the kind of social media games that we want to mention today are the kind that your ex (and perhaps their new love interest) try to play with you when you have children.
Posting pictures of your little ones without your permission, not setting privacy restrictions on their social media accounts and then posting status updates they know will rub salt in your wounds. These are all steps that your ex and their partner might take to get under your skin. Here’s what to do if that happens:
One: Ask Your Ex To Cut It Out.
Tell them you don’t want the action to go any further, but you’ll push it if you have to. Try to have a rational discussion in which you explain: 1) That you don’t want to fight and would rather move on with life; and 2) That you would appreciate it if any shared child pictures emanated from his account rather than his significant other.
Two: Consult An Attorney About Any Legal Grounds You May Have To Push Back.
We’re certainly not going to pretend like the law is on your side here, especially if the divorce forms have already been finalized. However, for your own peace of mind, you should consider meeting with an attorney to see what your options as a parent are. You may be able to get a cease-and-desist on posts involving your children that are issued by your ex’s partner.
(Of course, you may not; after all, they’re his children, too, and he’s likely providing permission to his partner. Still, you never know until you try.)
All of this, of course, assumes that the rational discussion with your ex goes nowhere.
Three: Block Your Ex’s Partner, And (If Possible) Your Ex.
If they’re really trying to get under your skin, then they will notice when you block them. So do it, and quit agitating yourself already!
While you may want to keep the communication channel open just to ensure that nothing inappropriate involving your children is being posted, most of the time you know your ex and your ex’s partner well enough to realize whether they’re a true threat to your little one’s safety and well-being.
Often times, these social media skirmishes escalate because of a need for revenge. You feel wronged — and you very well may have been — and you just want to hit back. Do yourself a favor, and let it go by blocking them both, unless, of course, you have a legitimate concern for your child’s safety, in which case you should be in touch with an attorney immediately.
If you’ve yet to encounter this and wish to end it before it starts, then consider an online divorce. If you can work through your differences and find a divorce solution like this to minimize the conflict, then you stand a much better chance of not having to worry about continued emotional warfare long after the final decree.