One of the toughest parts of raising children comes when they hit their teen years. Their young minds are developing from adolescence into adulthood and that comes with a whole new set of challenges as they try to deal with grown-up issues while they’re still, in many ways, children. To assist parents in navigating these difficult times, one reddit user asked for help and advice on what he could do to maintain a healthy relationship with his teen as she got older. Here were some of the most interesting responses.
1. “Foster trust in your daughter. Don’t go snooping into her things, her computer etc. unless you seriously suspect that something is wrong/she’s in danger. My mum constantly snooped on me, and it has completely wrecked my trust with her even to this day.”
2. “Yeah like the dude below, my parents gave me free reign to make my own mistakes, but told me their opinions and gave me advice, which of course I wouldn’t take only to realise they were right. I don’t know if it’s up to the parents so much, my sisters were probably more spiteful of mum and dad, I never once found my parents embarrassing my whole life, I think it’s more of a mature thing and how your child will react to you, regardless of how you act.”
3. “My mum never said ’cause I said so’ or acted selfish towards me. She’d explain why things would need to be done the way she said or why it was important for me to do X or Y. And I knew she didn’t snoop around my stuff, cause she trusted me. I never betrayed that trust, cause it meant a lot to me. … She was always there for me, present. Never on her phone all night or watching TV (though obviously she did watch TV, but maybe you know what I mean). She never ignored me, instead wanted to do fun stuff together and sometimes drag me to some silly things she was into as well.”
4. “My parents gave me space and respected my decisions. They would allow me to make mistakes but would never make me feel worse about it. They were a shoulder to cry on when I needed it and provided a pep talk before major events in my life. The only negative is they pushed religion onto me which really bothered me and caused a rift in our relationship in my high school years. They’ve apologized since, but I still find myself bitter. … Overall they are loving and amazing parents. My advice would be to not shelter them too much. Love is important, but so is growth.”
5. “Balance and communication. Too much freedom is bad and so is too little, same for all things. … That balance may normally seem impossible, but all you do is talk and agree on compromises. I know someone for example that had very very lenient parents, and they received a lot of what they wanted growing up. Because of that, they are a bit spoilt and have trouble with money. … In comparison my parents basically told me if I wanted something I had to earn it. I wanted something to eat when it wasn’t a meal time? Make it myself. I wanted to get to school and it wasn’t raining? Bike. Want more money? Come to the store where my mother works and work there hauling boxes.”
What do you think parents should do — whether divorce papers are involved or not — to build a stronger relationship during their child’s teen years? Sound off in the comments section.
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