Florida divorce attorney Steve Kramer out of the Kramer Law Firm in Orlando has seen it all when it comes to bad divorce behavior. Specializing in dissolution cases, he shares the top five mistakes that most people make when filing.
While many of these seem common sense, the thing to remember is that when divorce forms are introduced to a marriage, common sense often goes out the window. Don’t think you or your divorce are immune from these behaviors.
5. Domestic violence or stalking
Domestic violence and stalking are common when one spouse decides it’s time to call it quits, and they can mean big trouble for a perpetrator of such behaviors. Kramer warns that the two most common repercussions from engaging in domestic violence or stalking include criminal charges and domestic violence injunctions. Either of these outcomes can have horrendous long-term consequences on one’s future. They can affect background checks for work and hurt an individual’s divorce case.
4. Emails and voice messages, social media posts
In the digital age, people often create paper trails without realizing it. That’s why you really have to watch emails, voice mails, texts, and social media posts. It doesn’t matter if you’re contacting your spouse directly or speaking about them on a public venue. Any time you let negativity fly out of your head and onto some form of recordable media, you could potentially be hurting your case. Kramer recommends slowing down quick-trigger responses and to instead view each contact as if you were the case judge. If it sounds questionable, don’t send it.
3. Parental alienation
This one is a major “duh,” but unfortunately, many parents still use their children as pawns in a game of divorce chess. Kramer urges you to avoid talking about “how awful your spouse is,” and warns that doing so “can have consequences on your case because it usually comes out later.” It can also do “do harm to the child” by putting them in an awkward position and crumble their feelings of stability.
2. The use of litigation for revenge
Divorce revenge is never a healthy thing for a spouse to commit. While it may provide a moment of temporary emotional release, it doesn’t make problems go away and could actually hurt one’s case. Kramer specifically advises spouses against the use of litigation for revenge. Not only can it financially deplete both parties, it does nothing to help one deal with the issue or “the anger that prompted this whole thing,” Kramer says. Instead, he advises that you use litigation only to “protect your rights and develop a good parenting plan for your child, not to beat up your spouse.”
1. Ignoring drug/alcohol claims
In Kramer’s experience, many spouses will make accusations of drug and alcohol use on the part of the other spouse. The accused spouse often makes the mistake of “taking the high road” and ignoring the claims when he or she should be doing the exact opposite. Kramer recommends a pre-emptive strike if one suspects that such allegations may occur from a spouse. “Do drug testing to show that you have not been doing drugs,” Kramer said. “Answer claims. It paints you in a good light and if you’re innocent, it destroys your spouse’s credibility and can have a big impact on your case.”
For more advice from Steve Kramer, check him out on YouTube.
While Kramer’s advice may seem to apply mostly to spouses in a combative dissolution, spouses should be aware of these behaviors even if they’re planning an uncontested divorce. Mindfulness can keep things civil and ensure a smooth divorce process.
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