If you’ve ever filed divorce papers, then you know that the experience can be one of the most disrupting and harrowing of your life. There’s a reason that some divorcees get post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Marriage is an enormous emotional investment, and when that market crashes, it can literally take years to recover — if you’re lucky to recover at all.
The key to building a better life is learning how to reduce the stress of your divorce. That’s why we’ve put together this quick list for how you can do just that.
A. Find Healthy Outlets For Physical Aggression.
As intense as your love once was for your husband or wife, your hatred for them can grow to equal sizes. The last thing you want to do, however, is take it out on them. No good ever came from keeping the conflicts going during and after the process of finalizing divorce forms. It’s okay to release your physical aggression. Just do it in healthy ways. Work out. Join a rugby league. Pound the heavy bag. Find healthy ways of working out the rage, and you’ll soon be able to move on.
B. Turn Loneliness Into Alone Time.
When you’re first divorced, it can feel terribly lonely. You have a lot of time to think, and so you gravitate towards memories that hurt. Don’t let this go on. Instead learn to enjoy your alone time by doing things you normally wouldn’t have had the chance to do while married. Jump in to a hobby. Pursue a degree. Utilize the down time with things that will build you up instead of tear you down.
C. Only Bring Someone Else New Into The Picture When You’re Comfortable With Yourself.
You have to learn to love being alone before you can relearn how to love someone else. That’s because if you love being alone, then you love yourself. You’ve taken enough time to improve who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin. Once you’re at that point, then and only then should you think about a new relationship.
The world of the divorcee — even when the split occurred in a low-conflict uncontested divorce — can be filled with uncertainty, sadness, and aggression. By learning how to cope with each area, you’ll be well on your way to reducing divorce stress and achieving recovery.