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Woman’s Success May Damage Ego of Male Partner

Woman’s Success May Damage Ego of Male PartnerTraditionally, men have claimed role of “breadwinner” in a family while women were associated with household management and raising children. We don’t have to tell you that a lot has changed since that 1950s paradigm, and from the sound of things, it doesn’t appear like men are taking it all that well.

According to a new study, a woman’s success made her partner feel worse about himself than her failure did. In contrast, women in the study were unaffected by their partners’ successes and failures.

“It’s a problem that doesn’t get spoken of very much. What man is going to say, ‘Well, because you are successful, I feel less than’?” said Marion Solomon, a marital therapist in West Los Angeles and co-author of the book Love and War in Intimate Relationships.

They Don’t Even Know They’re Upset

Surprisingly, according to researchers, men were not even aware that their self-esteem had been damaged by their partners’ successes. It’s the belief of the authors that this finding could lead to greater troubles and possibly an increase in the filing of divorce papers later on.

“A man struggling on an unconscious level with a partner’s success might suddenly act out — distancing himself from his partner, becoming slow to return phone calls or being less attentive,” said Jill Weber, author of Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships.

“Maybe they do things that they don’t understand themselves,” she said. “The guy is giving the impression that he’s not that into the relationship, when in reality he’s just trying to protect himself from the fear of rejection.”

Other studies have shown that the likelihood of filing divorce forms increases when the female is the breadwinner in a relationship. In our own findings regarding uncontested divorce, women file for divorce about two-thirds of the time, and in those cases, they generally average about $10,000 more annually than their spouses.

Here’s a link to the full details fo the study. (Hat tip to the Washington Post.)


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