Close to a decade has passed since my decision to file divorce papers. Having caught my ex-wife in an affair, there was a lot of turmoil to deal with as I tried to meet my work obligations while also living under the same roof and walking through all the legalities of saying goodbye.
It was a difficult time, and if not for work, I’m not sure how I would have handled it. As a teacher, I had the added burden of keeping my social life away from the kids while also dealing with the fact that news eventually gets around. Nevertheless, work saved me, but it wouldn’t have had I not managed it correctly.
How Should You Handle Your Job While Going Through A Divorce?
First, level with your boss. Meet with him or her behind closed doors, tell them what you’re going through, and what it means to you to have their support as you navigate the legal and emotional challenges. Doing this will almost always garner sympathy and flexibility from your employer. They appreciate the fact you’re thinking about them even during a time when it’s hard to think about much else aside from the divorce forms.
As a result, they’re more likely to have your back, to keep private information private, and to work around anything you have that might come up which might affect your job duties.
Of course, the second part of this is that you want to maintain this bond of communication and thinking outside yourself as the process continues. Things will come up you didn’t think about before, and the more you can communicate openly and honestly with your employer, the more likely they’ll become a teammate rather than an obstacle.
How Does This Help?
The one thing you’ll want to get back as soon as possible — and this is true even in low-conflict cases of online divorce — is stability. Work provides that stability, and being able to face each challenge as it arrives will move you closer to a normal life. Since every normal life needs a source of income, a system of support, a social outlet, and a foundation for rebuilding confidence, how you handle your employment through the process is important because it can be all those things.
While it isn’t easy juggling the moving parts of your life through the divorce process, how you manage it makes all the difference in the world with your recovery.
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