Divorce papers bring with them a great deal of stress. First of all, there is the consideration of whether or not to file. Next, there is the process of either doing the paperwork yourself, for an uncontested divorce, or hiring an attorney. Lastly, there is the issue of getting your life back together once the papers are final. It’s this last part that we’d like to talk about today: stress relief. How do you get it?
Start by getting your priorities in place.
What areas are you “hurting” the most when it comes to stress? Do you feel like you’re in emotional arrears? Have you yet to “cry it out”? Perhaps your finances are hurting, and you need to know where you stand with the budget? Schedule some time to sit down and make a list of all the things that are putting stress in your life. Then, ask yourself this simple question about each thing: what can I do about it?
Analyze how you can take action.
If your ex being a jerk causes you stress, you may not think there is anything that can be done about that. However, you can always control how you respond to those jerklike moments. Show these types of people they have no bearing on your happiness, and they’ll go away. But don’t stop there. Look at each area of your stressful life and latch on to what YOU can do (or not do) that will change the outcome for the better.
Next, create your hierarchy of needs.
What are the issues that you HAVE to deal with before another week goes by? Number these things in order of importance and then start working through them as you can.
Finally, take comfort in small victories.
When the divorce forms are final, your problems don’t immediately go away. That’s why you need to take comfort in the small victories. End each day with a look back on what you’ve done and celebrate any and all progress, even if it means you don’t get to draw a line through any of the items on your list. Each small victory leads to a bigger one and helps you to emerge a more capable person.